SNEAK PEEK
“Tell me I’m hideous,” he begs. “Admit the thought of kissing me with your eyes open repulses you. Hell, call me an insufferable asshole who doesn’t deserve you.”
“You are an insufferable asshole,” I whisper. “Because you choose to be. That’s not who you really are. I see you.”
“No,” he grinds out, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head manically. “You’re imagining what you want to see. Your fantasy isn’t my reality.”
I release a shaky breath but remain otherwise silent. From the moment his last fight ended, and he grabbed my hand to drag me from the Phi Kappa house without a word to anyone else, he’s been battling a fantasy far stronger than anything my mind has imagined over the years. The one in which he’s not good enough, not strong enough, not important enough for whatever happens between us to be anything more than a meaningless one-night stand, laced with regret in the morning.
I can’t tell him he doesn’t deserve me. It would be a lie. He’s not ready to hear it’s me who doesn’t deserve him. In the end, I’m no better than Hayleigh. I want what I want. And I’m capable of doing whatever I have to in order to get it.
He opens his eyes, his body relaxing as he seems to resign himself to his fate. But, he makes one last valiant attempt to forestall the inevitable. “You’ll wake up to an empty bed in the morning. I won’t call. I won’t text. I’m not the kind of guy who will try to romance you or convince you to choose me.”
“Yes, you are.” I take one step forward. “You’ve been romancing me for years.” Another step. “You make me coffee and bring me homemade Danishes in the morning.” Another step. “You build my furniture without expecting a blowjob in return.” Another step. “You refuse to give up the key to my apartment, just so you have an excuse to drop in and check on me even when you don’t have the courage to admit you care with a text or a phone call.” Another step. “You don’t have to convince me to choose you. I did that for myself a long time ago.”
I stand at the halfway point between us. If he wants to bridge this gap, he’ll have to do the rest of the work.
“I torture you by dragging you to the gym instead of letting you sleep in on Saturday mornings,” he counters. Yet he takes that first step. “I purposely say things that hurt you to push you away.” Another step. “I’m never going to be like Kieran.” Another step. “I lie to you every time I look at you.” Another step. “I’m lying to you even now.” Another step. “I’m never going to be anything more than a villain. If you’re looking for a white knight to ride in on a horse and save you, then you need to look elsewhere.”
I gaze at him, only an arm’s length away. “I don’t need anyone to save me. I can save myself.”
He takes the final step to close the distance between us. His arms hang at his sides, but he fists his hands, trembling with the effort to hold back. “Once you unlock this door, I won’t be able to restrain myself. I won’t be gentle; I won’t care about making it good for you. I’ll take what I want, then leave you in the darkness like nothing happened.”
“And then I’ll find you. We’ll sit and stare at each other for a few hours in silence while you lose out on sleep. Just like old times.”
“Or, I could stay. Kill two birds with one stone and shake things up a bit. For a few hours, anyway.”
I fight the urge to smile. “So long as you promise not to make me fall in love with you.”
“I’m obviously not very good at keeping my promises.”
“You are an insufferable asshole,” I whisper. “Because you choose to be. That’s not who you really are. I see you.”
“No,” he grinds out, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head manically. “You’re imagining what you want to see. Your fantasy isn’t my reality.”
I release a shaky breath but remain otherwise silent. From the moment his last fight ended, and he grabbed my hand to drag me from the Phi Kappa house without a word to anyone else, he’s been battling a fantasy far stronger than anything my mind has imagined over the years. The one in which he’s not good enough, not strong enough, not important enough for whatever happens between us to be anything more than a meaningless one-night stand, laced with regret in the morning.
I can’t tell him he doesn’t deserve me. It would be a lie. He’s not ready to hear it’s me who doesn’t deserve him. In the end, I’m no better than Hayleigh. I want what I want. And I’m capable of doing whatever I have to in order to get it.
He opens his eyes, his body relaxing as he seems to resign himself to his fate. But, he makes one last valiant attempt to forestall the inevitable. “You’ll wake up to an empty bed in the morning. I won’t call. I won’t text. I’m not the kind of guy who will try to romance you or convince you to choose me.”
“Yes, you are.” I take one step forward. “You’ve been romancing me for years.” Another step. “You make me coffee and bring me homemade Danishes in the morning.” Another step. “You build my furniture without expecting a blowjob in return.” Another step. “You refuse to give up the key to my apartment, just so you have an excuse to drop in and check on me even when you don’t have the courage to admit you care with a text or a phone call.” Another step. “You don’t have to convince me to choose you. I did that for myself a long time ago.”
I stand at the halfway point between us. If he wants to bridge this gap, he’ll have to do the rest of the work.
“I torture you by dragging you to the gym instead of letting you sleep in on Saturday mornings,” he counters. Yet he takes that first step. “I purposely say things that hurt you to push you away.” Another step. “I’m never going to be like Kieran.” Another step. “I lie to you every time I look at you.” Another step. “I’m lying to you even now.” Another step. “I’m never going to be anything more than a villain. If you’re looking for a white knight to ride in on a horse and save you, then you need to look elsewhere.”
I gaze at him, only an arm’s length away. “I don’t need anyone to save me. I can save myself.”
He takes the final step to close the distance between us. His arms hang at his sides, but he fists his hands, trembling with the effort to hold back. “Once you unlock this door, I won’t be able to restrain myself. I won’t be gentle; I won’t care about making it good for you. I’ll take what I want, then leave you in the darkness like nothing happened.”
“And then I’ll find you. We’ll sit and stare at each other for a few hours in silence while you lose out on sleep. Just like old times.”
“Or, I could stay. Kill two birds with one stone and shake things up a bit. For a few hours, anyway.”
I fight the urge to smile. “So long as you promise not to make me fall in love with you.”
“I’m obviously not very good at keeping my promises.”
☆☆☆☆☆☆
MORE ABOUT REVENGE LOVE
Revenge is sweet.
Emma Hastings has tried all her life to fit in. Throwing off her awkward high school years to become a member of a prestigious sorority at Wellbridge University, she has her sisters at her side, and the future spread out before her for the taking. Her senior year of college should be filled with parties, studying, and sweating between the sheets before she goes to medical school.
One night at a party changes everything. Dominoes collapse as quickly as they’re erected. Suddenly, everyone has something to gain and everything to lose.
Love is sweeter.
Jason Gould will never fit in, so he doesn’t even try. Content to stay on the periphery of society, he works hard, plans for his future, and keeps to himself. His senior year should be filled with early morning shifts, gym sessions to keep his pent-up anger under control, and readying himself to face the rest of his life alone.
One ray of sunshine refuses to let him fall into darkness. Emma won't leave his side no matter what is thrown at them.
When a woman who is dying to fit in joins forces with a man who never will, they just may find they fit together in ways neither could have ever imagined, and they’ll discover a life well loved is the sweetest revenge of all.
Revenge is sweet.
Emma Hastings has tried all her life to fit in. Throwing off her awkward high school years to become a member of a prestigious sorority at Wellbridge University, she has her sisters at her side, and the future spread out before her for the taking. Her senior year of college should be filled with parties, studying, and sweating between the sheets before she goes to medical school.
One night at a party changes everything. Dominoes collapse as quickly as they’re erected. Suddenly, everyone has something to gain and everything to lose.
Love is sweeter.
Jason Gould will never fit in, so he doesn’t even try. Content to stay on the periphery of society, he works hard, plans for his future, and keeps to himself. His senior year should be filled with early morning shifts, gym sessions to keep his pent-up anger under control, and readying himself to face the rest of his life alone.
One ray of sunshine refuses to let him fall into darkness. Emma won't leave his side no matter what is thrown at them.
When a woman who is dying to fit in joins forces with a man who never will, they just may find they fit together in ways neither could have ever imagined, and they’ll discover a life well loved is the sweetest revenge of all.
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☆☆☆☆☆☆
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